i hate making decisions ):

some how .. i wish i was a lil girl again ..
i hate making decisions .. seriously.

1) further studies ..
because of the stupid competitive pple and education system in this country .. i have to continue studying but there's no place at all locally .. ):
resorting to try overseas but the school fees are expensive + alot of other expenses incurred

2) work ..
simply put it this way .. no work = no income = no spending power = broke = sad.
so i need a damn job! .. but i haven't found any yet ): .. i wanna cry alr la ..
my bank is depleting .. sighs .. any kind souls wanna hire me or donate to my savings?
i wish my parents had a company and i could simply work there w/out worrying much.
argh .. in my dreams .. ):

3) holiday ..
no work = no money = no holiday = sad life.
and it's really troublesome cuz others have to work and the dates clash and not forgetting there's visa, money and parental issues too ..
terrible .. ): .. almost 20 and lifeless.

4) life ..
why are dreams opposite of reality?! ..
what i really dream and wish for don't occur to me at all ..
sighs .. if life was so simple .. i would have been a happy girl by now ..
i've got to be independent and yet i HATE making decisions .. kill me.

sighs ... i shall stop ranting now ..
i need a life.
shall be heading dwn to idp to settle my application for uwa tmr with vy .. then find job again.
maybe i did a stupid mistake by not extending my contract with such a "prospective" company that has great company, pays me better but a mundane job. whatever it is .. i SHAN'T regret my decision and continue with my life ..

fcuk it. i'm damn stressed up. ):