distracted badly ..

i was suppose to go studying with my jiemeis today but it got called off due to idon'tknowwhatreason.

so here i am at home .. awake since 10plus until now doing nothing except printing all my lectures, tutorials and workshops ..
i have no idea how to start studying .. there's not much of a feeling of studying now cuz i have my tv that's distracting me!! .. got alot of nice shows today laa .. watched nancy drew in the morning .. then there are like good advice that just ended not long ago, a simple twist of fate showing now, shallow hal later in the evening .. and lastly 50 first dates at night! ..
anyways .. i think i'm going out later tonight to have dinner with dionne, amy, dean and zhiwei .. they're studying in town now .. BOO. i feel so unproductive today ):
sighs ..
silly me went to book my first prac on 13th .. just went to cancel my driving prac it cuz i totally forgot that i was gonna be away from 11th till 15th laa .. but i ended up booking for 2 days after i come back which is 18th and 19th .. vincent's super nice to accompany me for both days (: .. haha .. we've got the 8.30pm & 2.40pm slots respectively .. so i think we might go for prata @ jln kayu after driving on monday!

random rants:
i have yet type my email and i have to do it soon to prevent more self-destruction.
i should try to be happier. i must be happier!

IMPORTANT NOTICE:

<- DO YOU KNOW HER?
CANDICE KARL

she's one of the 11 contestants participating in butchhunt this yr ..
please vote for her or head down to ZOUK on 14th june(thurs) - preview (click here to find out more) .. and give her MORAL SUPPORT (: ..
FINALS are on 12th july(thurs) do keep yourselves free!!
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i'll get back to u asap (:

walk me home ...

Walk Me Home
Mandy Moore

Walk me home
I don't wanna go all the way alone
Baby won't you walk with me home
Baby won't you take my hand
Come with me now to a special land
Baby won't you walk with me home

3 A.M.
You're on my mind once again
I must have been dreaming
Thought I felt your heartbeat just then
And I wonder how it would be
I was your lady
And you were my friend

I would put my heart in your hand and it would never end

Walk me home
I don't wanna go all the way alone
Baby won't you walk with me home
Baby won't you take my hand
Come with me now to a special land
Baby won't you walk with me home

Baby won't you walk with me home (walk me home)
I don't wanna go all the way alone (all alone)
Baby won't you walk with me me home
Baby won't you take my hand (take my hand)
Come with me now to a special land (ohh)
Baby won't you walk with me home

Ohh
La la la la la la la la

I hold your picture
Next to my heart all the time
Ohh yea baby

You're my dream come true
So then you're mine?
And I wonder how it would be
If I was your lady
And you were my friend
I would put my heart in your hand
And it would never end

Walk me home
I don't wanna go all the way alone
Baby won't you walk with me home
Baby won't you take my hand
Come with me now to a special land
Baby won't you walk with me home

Everyday and night I wanna hold you
Understand I am going to love you
In my own special way (in my own special way)

Walk me home
I don't wanna go all the way alone
Baby won't you walk with me home
Baby won't you take my hand
Come with me now to a special land
Baby won't you walk with me home

Walk me home
I don't wanna go all the way alone
Baby won't you walk with me home
Baby won't you take my hand
Come with me now to a special land
Baby won't you walk with me home

Ohh
Won't you walk with me home?

finally over but i've got other things on my mind.

yays. just finish our last presentation the term afew mins ago ..
it had been a crazy sleepless week and i feel like a walking zombie ..
but i'm really lucky to have such a great family that cares for me (:
my parents bought macs for me for 2 nights plus a cup of ginseng last night ..
my sisters were being less irritating which was good too ..

and for the next 4 days .. amanda's away from camp (: *grins widely*
that means i can study for my common test in peace .. but but but .. i shall study with eunice @ our usual study spot instead .. i really miss studyingg with my jiemeis!! .. it seems that we haven't study together for a LONG LONG time .. although the exams last sem just ended in feb .. =X ..

i'm really sleepy. 10 hours of sleep over 3 days .. i've suffered enough for now .. i'm gonna fly home after mec lect and hit my bed to makeup for all the loss.

random rants:
many WHYS but often answers of "consolation" and not reality ..
sometimes i wonder.. did i make a wrong choice since the beginning? why did i choose it?
question -- am i really happy or is it just a facade?
i don't feel like the real me anymore .. no more happy-go-lucky .. no more becoming a blessing to others .. instead i feel more like a unfeeling bitch.
please explain to me why have i became like that because i have no idea why too.
i wish for everything to be back to normal.

truly sorry for all the hurt caused.
it wasn't meant to be this way.
but because of imperfection and competition ..
i realised i've gone way too far.
please tell me what to do.

S.O.S

please help me do this short survey!!
if you are 17-21 click here else if you are 13-16 or 22 and above click here

thanks a million (:

losing grip.

Losing Grip
Avril Lavigne

Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you
Why'd you turn away?
Here's what I have to say
I was left to cry there, waiting outside there
Burning with a lost stare
That's when I decided

Why should I care
'Cuz you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
You, you need to listen
I'm starting to trip, I'm losing my grip
And I'm in this thing alone

Am I just some chick you place beside you to take somebody's place
When you turn around can you recognize my face
You used to love me, you used to hug me
But that wasn't the case
Everything wasn't okay
I was left to cry there, waiting outside there
Burning with a lost stare
That's when I decided

Why should I care
'Cuz you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone
You, you need to listen
I'm starting to trip, I'm losing my grip
And I'm in this thing alone

Crying out loud
I'm crying out loud
Crying out loud
I'm crying out loud

Open your eyes
Open up wide
Why should I care
'Cuz you weren't there when I was scared
I was so alone

Why should I care
'Cuz you weren't there when I was there
I was so alone
Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care
We're not going anywhere

Why should I care
'Cuz you weren't there when I was there
I was so alone
Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care
We're not going anywhere

don't ask me what's up with me and all those emo songs now ...
i have no idea too .. it just comes to my head ..
my whole saturday was spent in school .. PPP @ 9 then projects ..
we left arnd 7.30 when the whole place was getting rather dark ..
went to meet my family for dinner @ cp swensens (:
we reach home arnd 1045 ..
i just booked my first driving prac on 13th june (weds) @ 8plus at night ..
will be going with vin & kw .. feeling kinda scared/worried laa ...
but i shan't think abt it for now .. cuz i got other things to be more worried about ..

here's my schedule for the coming 2 wks ..
mon - review & submission of events report
tues - dci pbl presentation
weds - ies iip presentation 2
sat - mis common test
mon - ies common test
tues - mec common test
weds - dci common test

alrights i'm really tired after the long day .. will go sleep now!
nights

it had been a long time since i saw your genuine smile;
but i'm glad i saw it today. ♥

what hurts the most.

What Hurts the Most
Rascal Flatts

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

this song just came to my head and now it's stuck there ..
oh wells .. there're alot of things to be completed ..
and i'm not in the mood to do anything ..
common tests are in a week's time .. it's time to start studying alrr!
i'm looking forward to the week after common test cuz it's ABC (:
will be out of town for 5 days ..
hmms .. i realised time passed very fast .. it's gonna be saturday in 7 mins 60 seconds ..
whatever the case is .. i think i shld just update my schedule now ..
i need some time management skills!!
BOO.

random rants:
- my mum wants to go sentosa next wk (weds/thurs/fri) cuz my dad took leave too and my both my sis are having hols but i have to study for CTs ):
- my 2nd sis did rather badly for mid years but on the contrary lil sis did rather well ..
- i need to pack my room again! it's in a mess =X
- i need to fix my printer .. feeling very irritated cuz i can't print my own notes ..

second thoughts;
maybe it was just meant to be.

cry

Cry
Mandy Moore
Walk to Remember OST

I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended so soon
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed

In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

The moment that I saw you cry

It was late in September
And I've seen you before (and you were)
You were always the cold one
But I was never that sure
You were all by yourself
Staring up at a dark gray sky
I was changed

In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

I wanted to hold you
I wanted to make it go away
I wanted to know you
I wanted to make your everything, all right....

I'll always remember...
It was late afternoon...
In places no one would find...

In places no one will find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry


this song is kinda stuck to my head now ..
feeling abit emo for i dunno what reason ..
but i'm glad that we did rather well for our first wisp presentation (:
and another thing i'm glad is bcuz i'm going to the shrek 3 gala premiere with emy tmrr!!
yayness.

to all that are sick..
take good care of urself and get well soon!!

emptyness;
my neverending pain.

loves.

mori gave me the link to this vid. *thanks girl! iheartu too (:
i sort of cried while watching it cuz some words just hit me straight in my heart.

oh wells. it had been a long day and i'm getting tired
nights

hurting deep inside;
i don't know why either.

imperfect balance

period.

it just explains why everything happened over the week ..
feeling really exhausted and slept for quite sometime today .. but still i'm feeling quite tired ..
so i'm gonna sleep early today and will do more productive stuff tmr depending on how i feel ..

was at school last night rushing through the IIP business proposal .. we were suppose to submit like last sat .. but mr lim pushed it till yesterday for us .. and apparently dateline was at 5pm .. but ahh we thought it was 2359 and only found out at 2pm .. rushed through the whole thing and decided to take it as though the dateline was 2359 .. emy was doing it during mis lect .. then after lect me and jackson took over and continued till 9plus .. after sending all the stuff over to emy and jiankai we left sch arnd 10plus together with dionne, chenpei and ken(their friend)..

reached home arnd 11plus .. then continued to add on stuff after emy sent me her updated copy. . at the same time had late dinner .. sent it back to her arnd 2350 .. she ended up submitting it at 0030 cuz i was away showering when she kept nudging me to ask me abt the format .. but it's alright .. at least we submitted (: .. and that blur girl forgot to rename the file!! .. haha super funny ..

common tests are coming soon!! .. in 2 wkss =X .. i'm feeling quite lag now .. still have 4 uncompleted ERP workshop cuz i'm stuck at ws 3, test ur skills 1 .. =.=" .. but i think i'm gonna skip ws 3 for now and continue to ws 4 since everyone says it's easier .. hmms .. there's also 1 uncompleted IES workshop which i must connect the database to dreamweaver .. sighs .. ERP PBL presentation is on friday too .. a 100% formal presentation for 15 mins max .. what else? .. hmms .. mis assignment 1 due soon .. but we started alrr so i guess it's "on track" for now ..

i need to balance my time well! .. anyone wanna give me a balancing scale? *kinda contradicting cuz libra is depicted with a balanced-balancing scale .. oh wells .. it's time to head to bed alrr ..

randomness: i'm quite thankful for such good friends (:
*p.s my dad's pms-ing!

nights!

always on my mind;
get well soon!

looking on the bright side.

maybe things are becoming better alrr ..
i hope it stays the same or improve much more ..

final presentation of the wk tmr and i'm definately looking forward to it!
not forgetting my grp's doing the FIRST mis tutorial facilitation on thurs ..
and we'll be going down to our iip company after class/lunch ..
and and and i'll be watching AMSND with dora & jacob at night!! yayness!

alright. i'm getting really tired ..
gonna sleep now!
nights (:

sleepyness ..

i'm cranky cuz i'm sleepy.
mood's swinging terribly.

won't someone save me from my misery?
sighs.

it just came ..

i couldn't stop it ..
i've been bottling it up ..
it finally came ..
tears just fell - without a reason.

i wish for time to be turned back.
sorry for everything i've caused ..
sorry u have to put up with this ..
i just feel so screwed.
just give me some time.. i'll try to make things work out
and i really hope it'll work out nicely ..
cuz i don't want to leave school with bad memories ..

sorry fb.

screwed.

first presentation of year 3, first presentation of IIP, first group to present.
one word to describe;
SCREWED.

oh wells .. we were just so unsure of what we were suppose to present ..
we were definately not ready for this .. especially all those questions "shot" at us by our dearest teacher after our presentation .. why are we still alive?! .. sighs .. maybe he meant well .. but i dunno .. are we suppose to change our company now? .. or should we just stick to the same company and continue to bullshit? ..

i'm super sleepy now la .. had only 2 hrs of sleep the night before just rushing to complete the ppt and drawing + adding all the diagrams .. it was soooo crazy .. my laptop was not co-operating at all too!! .. it just kept hanging and hanging .. and i had to do like force shutdowns cuz i ran out of patience waiting for the screen to start moving ..

this morning was like even worst! i had the last diagram to complete - gantt chart .. and i was trying to do it .. but my laptop hanged like twice!! .. omg .. i was sooo stressed cuz the guys didn't have project 2003 and emy haven't come yet .. sighs .. oh wells .. in the end force shutdown twice and finally it worked .. manage to finish it at 9 on the dot .. and we squeezed into the lift to get to class ..

seriously, i dunno if i made a right choice right at the beginning of the sem .. or even worst, did i made a right choice not to go for iap this sem. i think i'm begining to regret alot of things now .. but i can't turn back time to change it .. sighs ..

MEC ws just ended. i shall end here for now.


i've pinned almost all of my hope on u.
please don't disappoint me.

conflicting tears.

when everything just seem so wrong .. there's no need to make matters worst at all.

i'm glad elearning is finally over .. 7 days of pure torture .. i'm finally free (:
it's like the first time i've cried quite afew times in a week ..
quite a number of factors caused it .. elearning, family, myself ..

friday was my grandma's 88th bday .. we celebrated it together with my uncle's family on saturday instead .. we had such a great time together (:
**p.s scroll down for pictures!

i guess the coming week will be ONE week of intensive grp meeting .. we're having most of our first presentation in wk 5/6 .. not forgetting an upcoming on this wednesday - IES. super not prepared for it at all .. so we're gonna meet up tmr and hopefully figure somethings out before we screw the whole thing up .. still have to submit final IIP business proposal by sat .. *roars*

presentation schedule for wk 5.
monday - wisp
tuesday - DCI pda show & tell
wednesday - MEC

okays it's sleeping time .. nights!

cousinss!
together with grandma













sisters (:
alethea mia-ed

















through downs and ups;
u are my light in the dark;
never failing to brighten up my horrendous day.

eLearning ..

4th day of eLearning .. thank God i'm still alive!

i always thought eLearning was so fun .. like staying at home and having a good rest .. completing all those quizes and stuff .. but ahh .. this eLearning is so different! we have so much more to do than quizes .. we even have to comment comment comment ..

now .. seeing words is making me kind of freaked out la .. every time we have to view one another work and comment on them .. it doesn't help when i'm feeling so sleepy .. in fact it makes things worst and i'll start being stress, emo and whatever.

on a brighter note .. i'm not alone through this crappy week la .. it's already the second day i'm meeting up with my grp mates! we're going on a "field trip" with yg as our tourguide (:

okays .. it's time to do my work alrr .. shall start without jackson cuz jiankai's here alr!..
BOO. i just woke up 1hr 15 mins ago and i'm feeling so sleepy alrr ..
i shall sleep early tonight! *how contradicting. i've been saying this for almost everyday but i still sleep at 1plus 2 ..