realization.

taken from ganting:
friends are those who will go thru thick & thin with u. they will always be there to lend u their shoulder.. whenever u need a cry. they will always be there to make u smile.. no matter how sad u are. they will always tell u their secrets.. even though its a secret. they will always tell u e most happening things that happen to them at e very first min.

many many questions ran thru my mind. mostly unanswered .. although one part of me would like to know .. the other doesn't at all .. i've replied and even stated everything that i felt. if u are against what i felt just say it .. i'm all in ears. u know that i prefer to avoid many things but this is just me .. it's jux the same as u liking to go play pool. have u even wondered if i really want to go at times ? ... maybe our thinking is different to the extent that we can't even "connect" at all ..

i know that u have ur problems and i have mine too .. although we are getting real distant. i really just want to know are u still my friend? my bestie? .. i really wished that we could go back in time and just erase that bad memories we had .. so many things have gone really wrong .. and if u think that i'm enjoying myself now jux because i'm so "cheerful" all the time .. u're really wrong .. cuz sadness is hiding behind the smile.

i guess u will read my blog. but don't take this to heart. u might feel that i'm too "ridiculous" but it's because i've lost many things and i don't want to lose u as my bestie. i know u might wanna sit down and talk abt this .. however maybe a letter would be able to do wonders .. i really wish everything would go back to normal.

~ i wish.